What Is It That I Want To Be!?

This is not a poem nor a monologue
It ain't no speech, diary or graphic
It is plain words falling together
To form a bridge between me and me
To tell myself What Is It That I Want To Be!?

Close to Her, so close that I cannot hear myself
In the music of Her heartbeat
My soul in Her body, my thoughts surrounding Her
So close that I'd be practically half Her existence
Her Life is what I want to be..

Timeless delicacies of words minced with pain
Fathered by my fruitless past and a hopeful future -
Let them drain my creativity on paper
Building my own refuge of literature
Poet is what I want to be..

Forgotten by the multitudes in the density of events
Still fondly remembered by the few I call friends
A timid presence urging to be felt
Leaving a footprint worth of a lifetime
Friend is what I want to be..

Lending a shade to the dying lamp of Art
Nurturing a few lives here and there
Spending my life to give more than I ask
In search of meaning and reason, value and pride
Explorer is what I want to be..

All this is what I want to be..
Before I heave a sigh of relief,
The question knocks the doors of my thought
It bothers me yet again to think
Is this all that I want to be?